By Ingrid Kambe
Some people, like me, solve problems by thinking out loud. I’d solve them in my head, but there are so many thoughts in there that I seem to focus better by bringing them out. But there are other people who do their best thinking inside their heads. They tend to sit quietly in a meeting, turning ideas over in their minds. When they finally speak up—watch out. It’s thought-out and (usually) awesome.
Beth Buelow is a life coach who found her niche working with just that other type of person. She works as “The Introvert Entrepreneur,” helping people who think better inside their heads develop personal and leadership skills that help them work with their introversion, not against it.
Beth was nice enough to let me pick her brain to share a few tips and tricks with other Sharp Skirts about being—and working with—introvert entrepreneurs.
SS: Your business focuses on introverts. How would I know if I am an introvert?
BB: All of us demonstrate traits of both introverts and extroverts; one is usually dominant over the other. Introverts gain energy from solitude and drain energy from too much social interaction. We can be the life of the party, especially a small party! And when the party’s over, we’re ready to go home, whereas extroverts are often on to the next event. Introverts are also internal processors. We think things through before speaking, whereas extroverts often process their thoughts out loud.
A very common misconception is that introverts are shy, reclusive, socially awkward and timid. Introverts can be very social, strong leaders and excellent public speakers. We simply get the energy to do these things by making sure we have ample solitude and reflection time. Consider these famous introverts: Al Gore, Barbara Walters, Meryl Streep, Harrison Ford, Christina Aguilera, Steven Spielberg, Michael Jordan and Bill Gates… Would you call them socially awkward or timid?
SS: People don’t often put “introvert” and “entrepreneur” together. What are some of the pros and cons of being an introvert entrepreneur?
BB: Since introverts enjoy their solitude, the independence and self-starter traits needed for entrepreneurship come naturally. We’re able to spend the time needed, alone and focused, to get things done. We tend to be good at research, planning and finding creative solutions. That independent streak and ability to wear many hats can come with a flip side. It doesn’t come naturally to ask others for help. We take the “do it yourself” aspect of entrepreneurship to an extreme! Introvert Entrepreneurs also have to adjust to creating their own schedule and structure, and find their authentic presence that supports their marketing, networking and self-promotion activities. “Talking about me” is an oft-cited challenge of the Introvert Entrepreneur.
SS: How would you recommend overcoming the challenges of being an introvert in networking situations?
BB: There’s a temptation to try to be an extrovert. Instead, I encourage people to find the part of them that is naturally extroverted and meld it with their introverted need to listen, observe and process. Here are three quick tips:
- ~When you attend an event, take on the mental role of host. Plan to focus on making others welcome by smiling, asking questions and drawing out those who look uncomfortable. Don’t spend lots of energy trying to be dazzling; be fully present, curious and sincere. Own your energy.
- ~Expand your definition of networking. Most introverts don’t like Happy Hour or unstructured networking events. Networking can happen anywhere – a lecture, book signing, workshop, presentation or retreat. I like workshops, because it’s a mix of like-minded people, potential clients and collaborators. There’s also a focus, so there’s a natural topic for conversation.
- ~Show up with your natural curiosity, sense of humor and ability to listen. Preserve your sanity by taking breaks as you need, and by choosing to leave when you’re ready to leave. Share your energy while it feels good. When you’ve decided that you’ve had enough, say goodbye to the people you want to connect with later. You don’t need an elaborate excuse to leave.
SS: What’s a piece of entrepreneurial advice you chose not to take? Why?
BB: There’s a lot of emphasis on building a list; I’m still figuring out how to do that authentically. I have Facebook business fans and Twitter followers. I can identify those people. However, when I switched from an eNewsletter to a blog, I lost specific information about my connections. My strategy of increasing readership and decreasing time commitment runs contrary to the advice to always be building a list. So far, I’ve not regretted that decision. Having a list of 5,000 emails doesn’t make me feel more connected or influential. For me, it’s more about quality than quantity. It’s okay if I don’t have your name, rank and serial number. I’d rather attract and invite than push.
SS: What was your biggest roadblock to starting your business? How did you overcome it?
BB: Initially, I was stuck defining my niche. Besides building a list, claiming a niche is the loudest drum seasoned entrepreneurs beat. I cycled through several. I referred to my process as finding my “niche de jour.” Frustration ruled. One day, I realized I couldn’t force it. I realized it was smart to coach for a while and see who I attracted, and who I enjoyed working with. I switched from chasing a niche to being curious and trusting the process. Over time, I noticed my clients tended to be introverts, and it was their uniquely introverted strengths and challenges that I most enjoyed supporting. Once I identified my niche, things began to snap into place. Excitement replaced frustration. Now my business strategy is much more focused and intentional.
SS: Name two things you have and one thing you need.
BB: I have an abundance of ideas and passion. There is so much possibility! I see my business broadly as life and leadership development for introverts. That opens up more channels for communication and connection. Coaching, blogs, podcasts, books, workshops, speaking… it’s all fabulous! The one thing I need to focus my ideas and passion is structure. I can get distracted by bright shiny objects, and my productivity goes down the tubes. I need a simple, sustainable structure that will support being efficient and flexible.
SS: What is your instinctive response to “women in business”?
BB: Women in business bring forward an energy that balances the “doing” with a healthy dose of “being.” When women are fully integrated and respected as peers in the business world (corporate, nonprofit or entrepreneurial), they help move everyone toward wholeness. Picture the Yin/Yang symbol. Yang is masculine energy, which is assertive, logical, direct, and action-oriented. Yin is feminine energy, which is creative, intuitive, synthesizing, and receptive. Each side has a piece of the other within it. When women step up and express their power, they help bring wisdom and compassion to what could be a ruthless, aggressive business culture. In turn, women benefit from receiving masculine energy that infuses them with strength, control and rationality.
SS: What is the key to world peace between introverts and extroverts?
BB: One key to world peace lies in understanding each type’s modus operandi.
Extroverts, understand that introverts need space and quiet to gather their thoughts. They have plenty to offer, they simply prefer to do it one-on-one, in a small group, or in writing. Respect their need to process internally, and avoid putting them on the spot.
Introverts, be patient with extroverts. They process by talking, so give them space to do that. Tell them what you need if you’re not being heard. Extroverts assume that you’ll jump in and interrupt if you have something to say. They don’t know that’s not comfortable for you. Know your limits. Be prepared to set boundaries. Don’t expect them to take care of you or your energy. Relax and enjoy their faster energy. Take what serves you and leave the rest.
To find out more about Beth, visit her website at www.TheIntrovertEntrepreneur.com or subscribe to her podcast at http://theintrovertentrepreneur.podbean.com.
Sharp Skirts, would you say you’re an introvert or an extrovert? How has this shaped the way you approach your business?
Ingrid Kambe has held various marketing and management positions—from corporate and strategic messaging, marketing strategy, competitive marketing, public relations, and editorial to customer service—in consumer, emerging technology and enterprise companies. She is currently earning her paycheck as a corporate messaging expert, marketing program strategist, and feature writer and editor in the Silicon Valley. Some day, she thinks she’ll have only one job…maybe two. Contact Ingrid at Ingrid-list@kambe.org.
